20 better questions to ask at nursery open day
You sit down, you've got five minutes, and you ask the only question that comes to mind. She's doing very well, she's a lovely girl. And that's it, you walk out knowing nothing.
20 Questions to Ask at Your Child's Nursery Open Day
You sit down, you've got about five minutes, and you ask the only question that comes to mind.
How is she doing?
She's doing very well. She's a lovely girl.
And that's it. Your time's up, somebody else is waiting, and you walk out knowing exactly what you knew when you walked in.
There's nothing wrong with the question. It's just too easy to answer. A teacher with twenty minutes of parents queued up will give you the short version, and the short version is always that she's doing well.
So ask something she can't answer in four words.
You won't get through all twenty of these. Nobody does. Pick the few that matter for where your child is right now.
If you only ask five, ask these 1. What can she do here that I'm probably still doing for her at home? 2. How does she let you know when she needs help? 3. Is there anything you see here that would surprise me? 4. How does she cope when she has to stop one thing and start another? 5. If there was one thing for us to work on before the next open day, what would it be? |
Learning and development
Ask | Why it works |
What is she doing particularly well at the moment? | Starts you somewhere other than problems, and tells you what to encourage at home. |
What is she finding difficult, or avoiding? | Avoiding is the useful word. It catches frustration before it turns into a real gap. |
Is there one skill we should practise more at home? | You leave with one specific thing instead of a vague instruction to do more learning. |
How does she approach a new activity when she doesn't know what to do? | Tells you about her confidence and persistence, which no report card ever covers. |
Communication and confidence
Ask | Why it works |
How does she let you know when she needs help? | Some children ask straight away. Others sit quietly and get left behind. You need to know which yours does. |
Does she speak up in group activities, or mostly watch? | Gives you a real picture of how comfortable she is in a room full of other children. |
Are there times you notice her going quiet, or getting frustrated or upset? | Often reveals triggers that never show up at home. |
How does she respond when an adult corrects her? | Tells you how she takes feedback from somebody who isn't you. |
Friendships
Ask | Why it works |
Who does she choose to play with? | Much more useful than asking whether she has friends, which always gets a yes. |
Does she join other children's play, invite others in, or play alone? |
Shows you how she actually navigates other children rather than whether she's sociable.
How does she handle sharing, taking turns and disagreements?
Tells you how she manages conflict when you're not there to step in.
Have you noticed any change in her friendships lately?
Changes tell you far more than a one-off description ever will.
Independence and routines
Ask | Why it works |
What can she do independently here that I might still be helping her with at home? | This one surprises people. Children are very often more capable at nursery than their parents realise. |
Is there anything she still needs an adult for that she could be starting on her own? | Gives you one practical independence goal to work on gently. |
How does she manage tidying up, eating, toileting and getting ready? | Lets you line up home and nursery so she isn't getting two different sets of expectations. |
How does she cope with stopping one activity and moving to another? | Transitions are where a lot of small children struggle, and it shows up at home too. |
The bigger picture
Ask | Why it works |
Is there anything you see here that might surprise me? | The best question on this list. It invites her to tell you about the child you don't get to see. |
Have you noticed any recent change in her mood, confidence or engagement? | Keeps the conversation on patterns rather than labels. |
Is there anything you think I should know that would help us support her together? | Makes it a shared job rather than a report being delivered to you. |
If there was one thing for us to work on before the next open day, what would it be? | The one to finish on. You leave knowing exactly where to put your effort. |
Making five minutes count
A few things that make the difference between a useful meeting and a polite one.
One last thing
An open day isn't about finding out whether your child has done something wrong.
It's a chance to put two pictures side by side. The child you see at home, and the child her teachers see in a room with fifteen others. They are rarely the same child, and the gap between them is usually where the useful information is.
So when you only have five minutes, don't ask how she's doing.
Ask something that tells you what she needs.
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